What is a First Look?

What is a First Look? It is when a couple sees each other for the first time on their wedding day before the ceremony. We arrange a time before the ceremony in the wedding day timeline and pick a location away from the eyes of family and friends to hold the first look. The private moment between the couple starts with the groom getting into place while the bride is tucked away, somewhere close by, so she can’t be seen. The groom stands looking away (at the photographer) while the bride starts walking up towards him and taps him on the shoulder or calls his name, to which he will turn around and see his beautiful bride for the first time! But let’s get into the details.

The First Look Explained in Detail

Personally, I think a First Look is really special. Not everyone knows how special and precious they can be, because they get caught up in how “non-traditional” it is and it takes too much time on the wedding day, and they immediately write it off. Over the past years photographing weddings, I’ve come to this conclusion. Some brides love “traditions”…. but what a bride REALLY wants when it comes to her groom seeing her for the first time, is an expression. Those who are not interested in a First Look usually think that by seeing each other beforehand, they will lose part of that reaction and those emotions of love and joy. They assume that it will not be as emotional or as intimate as it would be if they were coming down the aisle. What I have found is so ironic! Everyone knows that wedding days are a bit stressful for the bride and groom. The whole day is focused on them, they need to look their best, they need to be on time, the groom has no idea what side the boutonniere is supposed to go on and little by little… the tension grows.

It’s before the ceremony and the gravity of what is about to happen starts to sink in and the calm, collected groom who was kicking back with his homies is now starting to feel a little anxious. So what happens next? The groom waits in a little room somewhere for his que from the coordinator. It seems like it’s taking FOREVER. Finally, the coordinator leans her head in and hurries the groom to get ready. With clammy hands, the groom enters the ceremony and what does he find? …. he finds anywhere from 80-300 people and they’re all looking where? Right at his face… because everyone has expectations and anticipation about his first reaction. This is the farthest thing from a private, intimate moment. And yes, it’s SO powerful and SO wonderful, and the bride feels like a million bucks. The music changes as the bride enters the room and the groom is sweaty, anxious with anticipation, and nervous, even though he looks calm and collected. The moment he sees his bride is still incredibly special, filled with emotion, and memorable. But there was pressure to the moments leading up to it. The sweaty-ness, the nervous, it’s a little uncomfortable.

For most grooms, the nerves kick in before they see their bride because when they see her, everything becomes VERY real! So when the nerves start creeping up, instead of keeping the groom in a secluded space until his time to enter the ceremony, what if you took him to a private place… no people, no on-lookers, no distractions…. and you let his beautiful bride, the love of his life, quietly call his name and have him turn around to see her for the first time. He would turn around and finally get his first look at his stunning bride and not only would he get to see her… he could embrace her… cry with her…. kiss her… and ENJOY that moment with her for as LONG as they wanted. As she shows him her dress, twirls a few times and then asks him what he thinks… his nerves start to diminish. After all, she’s the one who can make him most comfortable anyway.

Because they aren’t on a time crunch… they casually move into their romantic portraits. No one is around, the coordinator isn’t announcing “15 minutes left”, and there is no pressure. It’s just the two of them and their photographer….. capturing the excitement and the joy of their wedding day. This is their time to be TOGETHER…and to be ALONE. When does that happen on a wedding day? Without a First Look…. it doesn’t. After their romantic portraits are done, they meet up with their best friends. Their bridal party joins them and because they still have plenty of time to spare… the bride touches up a little makeup while the guys hangout. After a few minutes the bridal party portraits begin and they’re FUN. They’re FUN, because there is time to make them FUN.

There aren’t any guests waiting impatiently at the cocktail hour and there isn’t a DJ coming to find the photographer to get a time check. It’s wonderful!

After portraits are done the girls and guys separate and prepare for the ceremony. The guests begin to arrive and the ushers are in place. Pretty soon it’s time for the processional music to begin and one by one, the bridesmaids make their way down to the front of the ceremony. As the groom clasps his hands… they aren’t clasped out of nervousness but excitement. The music builds, the mother of the bride stands and all of the guests follow her lead. The groom looks up, and here comes the BRIDE!!! His best friend, his companion, his heart, and …..she’s stunning…. ABSOLUTELY stunning. The closer she gets, the bigger he smiles.

Now let me put a disclaimer on here before we continue…my clients are not required to do a First Look by any means! I used to feel bad for sharing this option with couples who were against it, because I didn’t want to push anything on them. However, I’ve seen the benefits of a first look over and over again, and so I only share this because I want the BEST for my couples!! It’s totally ok if couples choose not to share a first look! It’s just my preference to do one for many reasons…. Keep reading to find out more of the benefits of sharing your first look privately! For brides not interested in a First Look, let’s start chatting soon about how we’ll create a special timeline to fit everything in!

Why it might be worth it

More Portrait Time

You’re investing a lot into your photography. By adding a first look you can fit in more time to get almost 40% more photos of just the two of you…and those are the images that you will want to save, print, and put in your wedding album. With a first look you are getting more out of your investment and the most with your money.

Enjoy the Surprise Freely

You actually get to have time alone with each other on your wedding day. Most bride’s don’t realize that when you come down the aisle and shock everyone with how incredible you look..he can’t even tell you how amazing you look. He can’t touch you, embrace you, or express to you how he feels. You have to wait almost 30 minutes until the ceremony is over for him to react and tell you how amazing you look. After half an hour, the reaction just isn’t the same as the initial first sight.

Extend your Day by 3 Hours

First Looks allow you to extend your wedding day. Normally, the wedding day would start when you come down the aisle, then the ceremony would end, you would rush through portraits so that you’re not late for the reception intro, and then it’s dances and so on. With a first look, your wedding day is lengthened by up to 3 hours. Instead of being rushed for portraits, you actually get to enjoy them and have fun hanging out with your family and friends on your big day. The whole first half of my client’s wedding albums are filled with images just from this time together before the ceremony begins.

Your Only Alone Time

First Looks allow you to be together and alone during your day. Normally, portraits are a little rushed after the family formals, and it can be hard to get back into that “romantic” mode.. especially with family around. When you have just shared your first look, you’re READY to love on each other, and I always capture some super sweet images during those moments.

Diminishes Nerves

You get rid of your nerves! I’d say half of my couples who have decided to do a first look, the grooms were not a fan of it at first. However, because they have never experienced their wedding day before, they didn’t know how nerve-racking it can be. Grooms who were skeptical first admitted to being so much more relaxed and they were ready to exchange vows when the time came.

First Look Expectations for the Bride

Bride’s, if you have never seen your man cry or get emotional, you can’t expect him to be overly emotional on your wedding day. Some guys just embrace their brides and never cry…. and that’s OK ( I personally was a puddle the whole first look) Some guys show very little emotion when their bride is coming down the aisle and that’s ok too. Everyone processes excitement a little differently. Just enjoy this amazing day, and try not to put any high expectations on him. If you take this advice to heart, I could potentially be saving you a lot of disappointment on your day. One thing I have noticed after weddings is that the stress and nerves that come with a wedding day can sometimes make it hard for some grooms to truly express their emotions. It’s a lot to take in all at once. This is a great reason to share a first look and also a great reason to give some grace to your guy! Sure, you deserve to feel beautiful, but my encouragement to you is to enjoy this time together, no matter what his reaction is like!

First Look Testimonials

From the Groom

“To be honest, I hadn’t heard of a first look until my fiance told me about it. But I can truthfully say it was one of the best moments of our wedding day. And let’s be real, I cried (shed a few tears) even though I said I would be all tough and wouldn’t cry and I’m so happy I was able to share those moments with my Bride. I was hesitant at first, but I’m so glad we did it! There’s no right or wrong choice to do it or not, but for us it added, it didn’t take away.” – Russell

From the Bride

“For us, our first look was worth the time and planning. We were concerned that having a first look would take away from the moment where our eyes would meet walking down the aisle, but it didn’t. Both were priceless moments. We chose to have a first look because we wanted to share the moment of seeing each other privately. And it was the best decision for us! On our wedding day I was very nervous and having that moment alone made all the stress and jitters go away. We had a moment to breathe and take it all in. The main thing I remember about it was that I looked forward to it all day, I couldn’t wait for my future husband to see me! I was so nervous and a bit stressed before hand but when he turned around to see me, the only thing I felt was peace, the stress went away and I felt like I could breathe and process what the rest of the day would hold. The only thing I could do was smile. It was a moment for us, not for the wedding party, friends, or family, just us. It was perfect! You spend months planning one day, and with all the time it takes to get ready the day of, I just wanted to see my soon-to-be husband. Choosing a first look gave me that extra time to just be with him on our day.” – Lindsey

In Conclusion

There is no wrong or right choice. It’s simply what you personally prefer. I would never pressure a couple into a first look if it simply isn’t something they want. I have done plenty of weddings where the couple didn’t share a first look, and it was still a beautiful wedding.

If you would like to reach out and get in touch to talk more about what you’re planning and how I can help you have an incredible experience, click the link to send me a note. I would love to hear from you!

Send Me A Message

The Wedding Experience